Greetings… before I share what I “got” from reading your speculations on “good guys”… I just have to say it… you and I share the same first name. Wow.. this is a first for me in the Medium Forum. (There, I said it…. sigh.. nice to meet you.)
When I read your piece here, my first impression (drawn from your piece’s title) was that you might be talking about “the Nightmare on Fifth Street”…the disastrous encounter with a stranger you’d never seen before. So I was ramped up to be terrified, or revulsed, or indignant as hell. *giggle* But when that didn’t happen, I ramped down to “stage two” — bored. You know, when you go to a scary movie, and find out it’s not nearly as scary as you were anticipating, and all of a sudden your popcorn goes stale, you have to use the restroom right in the “exciting part”, and you’re starting to yawn? Right?
Well, that didn’t happen, so I read the rest of your piece with “academic interest”. (Maybe I can learn something here.) (I’m much, much older than you…trust me…and have lived alone for a few decades)(men are annoying — from my perspective — and NO, I am NOT “gay”). It’s all about the danged “war between the sexes” that we’ve all been in for the last 40 or 50 years here…sigh. I’m really tired of that…we all need to wake up and realize that we NEED each other (men & women), and going squirrelly with other girls just is NOT satisfying — cuz we need a good fight now and again with a dude we love. (Gay comments, notwithstanding, if you’re not into that, you’re just NOT into “that”.)
In any case, my general impression of your perspective about “good guys” is that they aren’t exciting enough for you…they aren’t challenging. You’re looking for someone who is handsome (perhaps devastatingly so), urbane and gentile to the point of “almost obnoxious”, and not a “cliche”. In other words, Prince Charming on a motorcycle just bought from the dealer, and flush with funds to pay for the most exciting weekend you never had in a little village you never intended to be going to with this total stranger. Mr. Perfect is who we all want, despite the fact nobody’s seen one in decades. Sigh…
I perceive an error in the way you go about meeting Mr. Marvelous. You spend a great deal of time inside your protective “bunker” (that’s a term from World War Two — a secret, invisible, highly protected hole in the ground with cement casings over it and “eye slits” to peer through). So, you’re in your cozy little bunker enjoying a glass of wine and some cheese slices, and you’re talking in text to these anonymous, amorphous (maybe they’re men.. maybe) for a week or three, and you get to know everything that would interest you — cuz they’re desperately trying to impress you enough to get a real date — and beautiful, intelligent, well-educated women who are still “available” are rare as multi-colored chickens. (These days, even boring women in the tenements who are single, not drug addicts, and not saddled with 3 to 6 little hell raisers are rare as hen’s teeth.)
By the time you meet said “nice guy” — he’s already boring. “Meh… who needs a nice guy? I need some excitement here!” I suspect you need more excitement, more mystery, more danger — and a lot less talking on the phone…err..typing on the phone. Falling in love with a stranger can be dangerous. Falling in love with the guy you’ve been texting with for the last three months is boring and ineffective. You need a change of venue, Bonnie. (No offense meant, really!)