I truly feel for your anxiety, and your husband's, in this trying year! I hope you can find a good solution to your issues--have you considered some form of self-employment? I know that's like asking you to carry boulders to a wildfire, and self-employment can be very stressful if not carefully selected (where you don't have good alternatives to choose from). I wish you well, and I sincerely hope that you can find a good solution to take you out of this punishing stress. God bless you.