Thank you for your thoughtful piece here. I’ve been in the same frame of mind about my relationship with God for a long time. I’ve tried at different times to renew my affiliation with the Catholic Church, and occasionally other religious affiliations, but I seldom felt that I was “settling in” or “belonging”.
Ultimately, I’ve come to feel that I get the greatest sense of true worship by participating in a Catholic Mass, because I can sense the presence of the Holy Spirit during the mass, the downpouring of Spirit when the priest goes through the ritual of the Holy Communion.
But on a daily basis I get the greatest sense of connection to the Holy Spirit by speaking with Him in prayer, in my home at night, or in the early morning. I don’t put God on a “schedule”… I think prayer is appropriate at any time when one feels the desire or the need to pray. Just before I go to sleep seems most appropriate usually…sometimes it leads into dreams that have meaning for me. Humility and faith are important to me also.